Barry’s show in Carlow Arts Festival  was sparked by dad’s death

“A CORE thing in Mourning is a Muscle is a cup of tea as a kind of an everyday mourning ritual,” explained Tullow native Barry Fitzgerald of their upcoming premiere at Carlow Arts Festival.

“If there’s bad news, often people will be, like, ‘should we just have a cup of tea?’ And the making of that cup of tea, it kind of holds people when they might not know what to say or do.” 

Barry (who uses they/he pronouns) had bad news in 2016, when their father died after a chronic illness. The youngest of eight children, Barry moved to Manchester and London to study contemporary art, dance and drama, but they came home for their father’s final weeks, helping to take care of him.

In the years afterwards, Barry said they became obsessed with “the rituals of mourning”, and the idea of grief as internal and mourning as an act, ritual or task “outside the body”.

One of the ways they mourned was by writing letters to their father, as London descended into lockdown in 2020. “It became a way of continuing a conversation with him. It’s my version of our relationship, of course, but it kind of helped me to process some things and talk to him,” Barry explained.

“I felt very different to him in my teenage years,” said Barry. “A lot of the time that he needed care, I needed care and we were kind of out of sync.” 

But their relationship changed again when Barry came out as gay. “There was a real closeness that happened, actually. It was as if we saw each other as individuals.” 

These letters were the starting point for the performance they are premiering at the arts festival next weekend. They speak directly to the audience, never mentioning his father’s name, and move through time in a “kaleidoscopic way,” said Barry. Audiences will also hear a story about Barry’s search for their great-grandparents’ farm in the Carlow hills.

Layered on top of the story of lineage, letters and a cup of tea is “a lot of denim”.

“Dad loved Westerns and Neil Diamond," said Barry. In reference to that, they include fringe jackets, cowboy boots and line dancing in the piece. 

By the end of the performance, they supposedly look a bit like a Sesame Street character. “I call that my morning monster,” said Barry.

While there are elements of humour and fun, Barry said it is poignant that their family will celebrate their father’s tenth anniversary within weeks of the show. “I think he would have loved it, that everyone’s still talking about him and line dancing and finding the silliness of it.” 

From noon to 2pm each day, the space in Cobden Hall, Carlow College is open for people to move through as if it was a gallery, with the help of a guide. Performances take place at 3pm and 6pm each day.

At the end, everyone is invited to have a cup of tea and to leave their tea bags in rows, letting them dry in the space.

“It’s making the everyday spectacular,” said Barry.

Tickets for the performance cost €17 and can be bought through the Carlow Arts Festival website.