Man who died in Carlow crash lived a 'beautiful, full, loving life', funeral told

Sarah Slater

Darrell Nolan, a father-of-four who died in a road traffic crash in Co Carlow on his way to a charity motorbike rally, gave his wife Sarah “the greatest gift of all - children” while he lived a “beautiful, full, loving life” mourners at his Requiem Mass heard on Sunday.

Nolan, who died six days before his 45th birthday, was originally from Tullow but was living in Tinahely, Co Wicklow, and was involved in the crash with a car on the R448 at Ballyknockan, Leighlinbridge, which occurred at around 9.30 am on Sunday, August 2.

He was brought by air ambulance to the Mater Misericordiae University Hospital in Dublin, where he was subsequently pronounced deceased.

A well-known motorcycle enthusiast and member of the Hooligans MCC, Nolan was due to take part in the club’s charity motorcycle run with the Kilkenny Bikers in aid of the Irish Society for Autism later that morning when the incident occurred.

He is survived by his wife Sarah and four children, Ashlee, Daragh, Sorcha and Miss Evie.

The motorcycle group Hooligans MCC provided a guard of honour as his oak coffin was brought into the church by several pall bearers during the 2pm Mass at St Mary’s Parish Church, Ballyconnell, Co Carlow.

His four children brought symbols to the altar that represented his “beautiful, full, loving life,” Clonmore Parish Priest Fr John O’Brien told mourners.

A bottle of his Monster drink which kept him awake while he was working as a truck driver, his motorbike helmet, his great love of biking, Kilkenny bikers T-shirt, and a family photograph were presented.

A photograph of Mr Nolan adorned the coffin along with a family floral wreath of white lilies and roses and lilac colored flowers.

His wife Sarah in her eulogy said: “To many he was Mad Dog to me he was simply Baby. He was only 45-years-old yesterday (Saturday) and none of us were ready to say goodbye. If you knew Darrell you knew he was one of a kind. He spoke his mind, stood his ground and never pretended to anyone only himself, he had a tough exterior that many people saw first but those of us lucky enough to know the real man behind the nickname knew something very different.

Nolan revealed: “Beneath that hard shell was the softest heart. He loved fiercely, cared deeply and would do absolutely anything for the people he loved.

"He adored his family with every part of himself. He was an incredible father who cherished his four children beyond words. His girls were his princesses and his only boy was his pride and joy. Every decision he made, every hour he worked, every sacrifice he made was for them, they were his whole world.

“And then there was us. We met at probably the worst time in both of our lives. Most people told us it wouldn’t last. Maybe they thought we were too different or that life had already dealt us too many challenges. But they were wrong, we proved every single one of them wrong. We spent almost 13 years wonderful years together and for the last eight of those we were husband and wife.

“Our journey wasn’t always easy, we faced heartache, especially through five long years of IVF but we never stopped believing in each other.

"The day we welcomed our twins into the world was one of the happiest days of our lives because we had fought so hard together to get there.

"Then our miracle surprise baby came along and to finish the puzzle our family of six became permanent three years ago. All six of us under the one roof and nothing else mattered.”

She highlighted to those gathered in the Church: “Through everything our love never faded. We were like two teenagers in love. We couldn’t walk past each other without a kiss, a cuddle or a touch. We were each other’s safe place. Best friends, biggest supporter and the greatest love. Darrell adored me and I adored him and I don’t think either of us doubted that for a single moment.”

She told how her husband loved his bikes, (they) gave him a sense of freedom only he could truly explain but as much as he loved being on two wheels, nothing the love he had for his family, that is where he truly belonged.

“One of the things I admired most about Darrell was his generosity. If you needed him he was there, no questions asked. He would give his time, his energy and the shirt off his back to help someone he cared about. He never expected anything in return that was just who he was. Today our hearts are shattered, the space he leaves behind feels impossible to fill.”

Looking to the future Ms Nolan poignantly said: “ As his wife, I honestly don’t know how to imagine a world without him beside me.

Our children have lost their father who loved them more than life itself and our family has lost the man who is the centre of everything.

“But even though his life was far too short, what an incredible legacy he leaves behind. He leaves behind four children who will forever carry pieces of him.

"He leaves behind family and friends who are blessed to know his loyalty, his kindness, his strength and his enormous heart and leaves behind a love story which proved everyone wrong, that survived through life’s hardest moments and only grew stronger with time.

“Darrell thank you for choosing me, thank you for loving me so completely. Thank you for giving me the greatest love of all, our beautiful children.

"Thank you for every laugh, every hug, every adventure, every challenge we overcame together, the every ordinary moment became extraordinary simply because we shared it. You are the love of my life, and you always will be. We will miss you every single day, we will speak your name often, tell your stories, laugh at the memories and make sure our children know how extraordinary their Daddy was. Until we meet again, I love you, I always have and I always will.”

In his homily Fr O’Brien told mourners: “We are with you Darrell’s family with Sarah, Ashlee, Daragh, Sorcha and Evie. How quickly our lives can change just with a phone call. Last Sunday morning, I know for all of you, busily watching Daddy setting off to travel to the fundraising bike rally that he was looking forward to and as always as he was setting off as a family you had your usual hugs and kisses and wishing each other well planning to meet up with Darrell later on in the morning at the rally,”

He continued: “Sarah you received that phone call and you rushed to the scene of the accident and you have those precious last few minutes talking to Darrell which now are so, so precious to you.

"You were able to reassure him again of your love for him before being taken away to the hospital where you hoped to meet him at his arrival and then of course you arrive at the hospital and you are told the news.

“Then Sarah as a mother you have to go then and share that awful news with your family Ashlee, Daragh, Sorcha, Evie and your whole extended family. So here we are a week later on Sunday afternoon gathering to celebrate Darrell’s Funeral Mass.

“So much has been taken in just seven days. So we are here with you today as a community of faith, to help you and all of you who have loved Darrell so much, praying with you and for you at this Mass.

"We can be honest to say that there are no words we can use that will even take away a little bit even of the depth of sadness and grief that you feel as a family that you will no longer be able to hold Darrell, to touch him, to laugh with him, to play with him and to love him.

“All we can do today is reflect back to what you still have of him.

"From talking with you over the last few days that precious gift you have to hold onto is the love you had as a family and you described it to me Sarah, you said Darrell loved you, his family, fiercely and deeply. Every evening when he came home from work and closed the door, you were his life.

“The love he had for bikes didn’t come close to the love he had for you. You are what mattered most to him. So many beautiful joyful pictures which showed how you shared something very, very precious.”

Nolan was laid to rest immediately afterwards in Kilquiggin Cemetery.