Godfrey's Gospel: When it comes to consensual sex, ‘no’ means no

I WAS SHOCKED to say the least when I read last week that two teenage boys had been sentenced to seven-and-a-half years’ detention, with the final 18 months suspended, for the sexual assault and rape of a 16-year-old girl.

One of the culprits was just 13 years’ old at the time of the crime, while the other was 15. Another defendant in the case, now aged 18, was sentenced to five years in prison after he was convicted on four counts of aiding and abetting the rape and assault. He was 15 at the time of the crimes – 26 December 2022. He also had the final 16 months of his sentence suspended.

The six-week trial of all three took place earlier this year, but if I was shocked at the ages of the defendants and what they did, I was even more shocked to learn that they and their families did not accept the verdict of the jury.

After the victim reported what happened to her in a car at Limerick Racecourse, both rapists initially gave conflicting stories to the gardaí, one even claimed to be in Dublin. Eventually they claimed it was a consensual encounter. The now 18-year-old defendant, a cousin of the two rapists, had moved the car during the attack.

The court heard that during the incident, the then 16-year-old victim, who was drunk, had agreed to go for a walk with one of the boys, but found herself in a car belonging the father of one of them, where she was sexually assaulted. She repeatedly said ‘no’ to the rapists, but they refused and said she was ‘fine’.

After the victim reported the crime, she was examined and found to have had extensive bruising and bleeding. She had not had sexual intercourse prior to the attack.

As part of their defence, if there is ever such a thing, the perpetrators were alleged to have had a lack of understanding in the areas of sexual relations and consent. Another point raised was that two of the defendants did not have a problem with drink or drugs.

How any of this can be put forward in mitigation is beyond me. I understand that defending counsel have a job to do, but surely in the Ireland of 2025, to claim that someone has a lack of understanding of what ‘no’ means is stretching it.

Time and time again we hear all sorts of claims about what ‘no’ really means, when it means exactly what it says. Equally, just listen to any radio station at present and you will hear adverts going to great lengths to explain the necessity of having a conversation about what a person wants from a relationship and what ‘no’ should mean. Hence no confusion.

Okay, you might say a 13-year-old will not be listening too closely to an advert about such matters, but to hear that his parents did not accept the verdict opens up a host of other issues.

If they think it is okay for anyone, irrespective of age, to force themselves on a vulnerable 16-year-old under the influence of alcohol, then something is majorly wrong in this country.

It has got to a stage that not a week goes by but we read of a woman being raped. And such are the laws in this country that if the defendant does not plead guilty, the victim has to relive the crime all over again. The victim must give graphic details of what happened and then answer all sorts of questions, because the defendant has claimed the encounter was consensual.

In fairness to those trying to educate the public about what consent really means, they have produced a range of adverts trying to get that message across.

We would all like to think that these campaigns are working – but then cases like what I have just described come along and you have to question how effective the campaigns have been.

Everyone must accept responsibility. Far too often we are quick to judge or excuse people because of substance abuse or whatever, when there is really no excuse for inflicting a lifetime of pain and suffering on anyone.

Everyone has nightmares, whether they admit it or not, but most of these fade as soon as we wake up. But can you imagine a nightmare that goes on forever, that whenever you close your eyes you find yourself in a certain environment, hear a certain sound, get a certain smell – the list is endless? Ask any survivor of abuse and they will tell you that the trauma never goes away.

Irrespective of how disheartening it was to learn that two boys and their families did not accept they had raped or sexually assaulted this young woman, we have to continue to try to educate people as to what is right and wrong so that one day we will get to a point where there are no court cases such as the one last week.