Beverley’s new book will help parents deal with the heartbreak of miscarriage and infant death 

A MOTHER-of-three who wants to help other parents who have experienced the heartbreak of losing a child has bravely put what she and her family went through into a book to guide others.

Beverley Brooks experienced the loss of three babies in the space of four years and now she has poured her emotions and story into a book, From Heartbreak to Hope, to help those who have dealt, or are dealing, with such loss.

It's a story of heartbreak, grief, hope, survival and more.

Instead of welcoming the start of a new year, the 32-year-old lost her identical twin boys Jackson and Aaron, on New Year’s Day 2021 when she was almost 24 weeks.

“I didn’t know I was in labour. I was experiencing a really strange pain and went to St Luke’s General Hospital, Kilkenny that morning as I thought I either had a kidney infection or the boys were lying on my pelvis some way,” explained Ms Brooks who lives in New Oak housing estate in Carlow town.

After a couple of hours she and her partner, Benny were told they could travel home but then the pain got worse for her and the couple returned to the hospital.

“I was 10 cms dilated and that babies were going to arrive and nothing was going to change that,” Ms Brooks recounted.

Unfortunately they were born with Twin Anaemia-Polycythaemia Sequence (TAPS) where they shared a placenta, developing an imbalance of red blood cells where one twin becomes anaemic and the other polycythaemic or having thick blood. Sadly, the two little boys lived for only an hour after their birth.

“That was heartbreaking enough but then because the Covid-19 pandemic was at its height, and numerous restrictions were in place that made grieving even tougher,” continued Ms Brooks.

“Both Benny and I needed the emotional support of family and friends around us, but they couldn’t come and visit and be with us in the hospital and at home.” Thankfully both she and her partner were taken off the maternity ward and were given a private room to spend several hours with their boys before they had to say goodbye.

“The whole situation was surreal both in the hospital and in the days and weeks after. I got home but couldn’t have the love and support physically from those close to me and Benny had to deal with all of the funeral arrangements. We were grieving too and also needed support,” added Ms Brooks.

Then two months later, the brave woman discovered she was pregnant again and successfully gave birth to their daughter Lexie.

However, tragedy struck again in 2023 when the couple lost another baby at 11 weeks, but in December 2024 Ms Brooks gave birth to healthy twins, a girl they named Caoimhe and three minutes later Caelan arrived. Caoimhe weighed 4Ibs 2ounces while her brother reached 4Ibs 9 ounces.

During those tumultuous four years, Ms Brooks journaled her way through her and Benny’s grief as a way of coping with their “tremendous loss and unbridled joy,” the young Mum revealed.

“Your whole soul aches and a part of you will always be with the babies we lost. I didn’t know if I, or we, would be able to come back from those losses. It’s a whole different type of grief. All I’m trying to do with my book created from my journaling is show people how I and Benny managed to deal with loss. Everyone grieves differently so I just wanted to help others and not tell them what the right or wrong thing to do is.” The couple, who will marry next year, have an imprint of the twin boys' feet and hands hanging on the wall of their home and Ms Brooks has a similar tattoo on the side of her leg so they will always be with her.

“The children will always know that the three who left us are part of our family. We got to hold our twin boys and thankfully they’ll never know how cruel the world can be because we surrounded them with love while they were physically with us. Writing this book was very cathartic for me during and in the aftermath of everything,” highlighted Ms Brooks.

The Carlow woman self-published her book and profits will go to Féileacáin which is a not-for-profit organisation that provides support to anyone affected by the death of a baby during or after pregnancy.

“We are so thankful to Féileacáin for everything they did for us. I also ensured that I went through therapy to help me cope with what I went through. So, we want to give back to them in some way if we can,” noted Ms Brooks.

The book is available online at Amazon or on Facebook on Beverley Brooks Author Page.