WELL, Lord God, hold the front page, we’ve got some earth-shattering news for you.

Put the shrimp on the barbie and take a Foster’s from the fridge because yer man from the telly – Summer Bay, to be precise – is coming to Carlow.

Soapstar and cagefighter extraordinaire Brax: on his way to Carlow

There were loud squeals and swoons around The Nationalist office with news that dastardly cagefighting daredevil Brax from Home and Away is on a nationwide tour of the country and, wait for it … he is hitting The Temple Nightclub, Tullow Street on Wednesday 2 January.

Mother of God, I’m hot under the collar already.

The Aussie hunk-a-chunk of burnin’ love (sorry) is hitting every nightclub in the country over December and January. Maynooth, Athlone,Corkand Carlow – they’re all getting some Brax time.

If you do pick up your €15 tickets and make it to The Temple on 2 January, we suggest a good way of introducing yourselves to Mr Brax is to approach stealth-like from behind, then jump on his back and rip his shirt off to see if his notorious Blood and Sand tattoo is real. That will endear you to him no end, and The Temple’s security team will get a great kick out of it. Also, he’s a cagefighter and a mad-bad River Boy, so he’s incredibly used to that sort of behaviour.

Disclaimer: We are aware that Brax from Home and Away is not a piece of meat and is, in fact, played by actor Steve Peacocke, who also is not a piece of meat. The person appearing in The Temple Nightclub will not actually be in character. Please do not jump him from behind. People don’t like that.